I have a student who is convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I hate him/her. I know that it is the age and maturity, but I find it quite interesting that this group cannot separate that I dislike the behavior they are exhibiting, not them. I have said it before and I will say it again, if I hated the little adolescents, I would have quit this business a long time ago--like before I ever started. Because he/she is convinced of my nonexistent hatred, he/she has made my life a living hell for the past month. I have tried a variety of classroom management approaches including calls home, the principal, and behavior contracts. Finally, I presented said student with a choice: he/she could either show me that he/she wants to be in my class and behave appropriately, or he/she would spend the rest of the term in the office doing bookwork and worksheets.
At any rate, this student and I had a heart to heart today. I explained to the student that he/she has a gift. He/she has the gift of the desire to learn. And he/she does! He/she is very eager to learn, and I really do love that. I told him/her that I appreciate that so much, but at the same time,I need him/her to behave appropriately when he/she has questions or is feeling overwhelmed. I was able to work one on one with this student for a bit today and it was marvelous! He/she was so receptive to this one on one time and compliments. I need to remember this when I want to discipline in a punitive manner. This is what I have been taught my whole life. It's what my parents did and it is what all my teachers did. But I want to change. I want my students to know that I love and care about them. I want them to be eager and willing to learn. I don't want the negative atmosphere that comes with negative, punitive classroom management. I am taking a class on this. It's starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!
If any of you anonymous readers out there have suggestions on how to overcome the negative monster that has ruled my life, please, leave a comment.
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ReplyDeleteHey, it's Becca this time :) I think Parish's quote refers more to personal behavior improvment, but nonetheless, it's food for thought!
ReplyDeleteIt's so interesting how much your experiences as a teacher are coinciding with my experiences raising an unruly toddler. I've noticed that when I'm negative with Brock or show him my frustrations, he shuts down, and loses control too. But when I'm positive and discipline with love and patience, he responds so much better. I like that you were able to compliment this kid, and have it show you positive results. Keep up the good work, and kudos for taking initiative and enrolling in a class to help you improve on classroom management.
Yes, I have a habit of not reading through posts very well, but for your attitude towards the children make the church a priority. For those kids to change their attitudes... you're pretty much screwed because their mothers never gave them hugs, their dad left when they were 5, and their acne is ruining their social life :)
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