It wasn’t the "happiest" day of my life. Oh, I could, I suppose,
lie and say that it was the most magical moment of my life, and that I will
never forget it. But I don’t want to. I am a realist. And although I often
crave a sappy romantic comedy on occasion, I am not much of one for corny
so-called romance.
On this day, the most holy of holies when it comes to
“love,” I am filled with the desire to reflect on the day that, although it
wasn’t the best day of my life, changed my life forever.
Most girls I know couldn’t sleep a wink the night before
their wedding. I slept like a bear in hibernation. It was all I could do to
open my eyes and slam the alarm off once I awoke to its happy tune. “Ugh,” I
thought. “Who wants to wake up this early on a day off work?” I rolled out of
bed and headed home. On the long drive along the Wasatch Front, I was overcome
with doubt. What if I am making the biggest mistake of my life? Once this
happens there’s no turning back. Am I absolutely sure this is what I want?
You see, dear reader, I have been independent since I was
three, just ask my mother, and a single adult woman for the last eight
years. This was a change of life-altering proportions and I was leery that I
wasn’t prepared to make it. I arrived at my apartment too late to go to
breakfast with my roommates as I originally planned. It didn’t matter really,
because I was too sick to my stomach to eat even one bite of the cinnamon rolls
left over from the reception. As I prepared for this eventful occasion, my
roommates taunted me with jeers about how the rest of my day would go. I wanted
to run away like Julia Roberts. That horseback ride was looking terribly inviting. But I knew what I was supposed to do and I arrived at the temple just
in time to rush through the doors and be swept away in a whirlwind of change.
My anxiety grew, however, when my mom was not there to greet
me. I was sick. It was as though I had just consumed an oozing, disgusting 20
lb. undercooked hamburger (Thank you Matt for that analogy). I thought, “Who
can get married without her mother there?” Thankfully, my dear friend Meghan
Maxine stepped in and filled Momma’s shoes. While I love and appreciate Meghan
for her sacrifice, someone at the temple actually called her my mother when she
is, in fact, younger than me, this substitution did not help the churning in my
stomach. Eventually, Mom arrived and Meghan was relieved of her duties. Together
my mother and I continued the process as I continued to feel ill.
…
“Yes.” The utterance of those three minuscule letters
changed everything. I felt as if an overweight wrestling champion had been
lifted off my chest. I had just made the best decision of my life. As we were
walking back to the locker room after the ceremony, a white-haired, grinning
old lady stopped me and said, “Oh, good. You look so much better. I thought you
were going to throw up before.” I have always been told I wear my emotions on
my face and this moment, apparently, was no exception.
I walked out of the temple that day holding the hand of my
best friend. The days that have since transpired have been the best of my life.
I get to wake up every morning to the smelly dragon breath of my very own prince charming. Like
a kid on the playground, I get to play with my best friend whenever I want. As I
have always said, like Bailey from one of the greatest TV shows ever created,
“I [wasn’t] excited about the wedding. I am excited about the marriage.” While
I know it is probably tough for my husband to read how awful that wedding
morning was for me, I hope he knows that now he is the center of my universe. I
am blessed that he stuck by me on that rocky terrain towards marriage because
if he had not, I would be the same cynical, unhappy twenty-something mess I was
a year ago. He makes my days better. I love him more now than ever before. I am
aware there will be ups and downs, that my days will not always continue to be
my happiest, but I don’t want to look back on that one short event as the only
happiest day of my life. I want to see it instead as a moment that was a gateway
to an eternity of bliss, morning breath, dirty gym clothes all over the floor, breadcrumbs on the counter,
nerdy face twitches, and all. The ups and downs and the person I get to share
them with are worth more to me than that day. Here’s to many more "happiest"
days.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. My how life changes.
