When Human Anatomy Meets Greek Mythology

What I am about to share with you are just a few of the many important reasons to keep sex education a part of the health curriculum in Utah.

This past week my students got the opportunity to take a test on a recently studied piece of literature. I asked the students if they had any last questions before they took the test. A hand shot up and asked, "What's the name of the Wind God?" I was prepared to tell everyone a hint without completely spoon feeding them the answer.
Before I got a word in edgewise (always gotta have a cliche) this student's friend blurted out, "That's easy, it's anus."
To which I replied, "Close, you got the 'a'."
I didn't know what else say. The entire class erupted in laughter, and that one I simple could not squelch.

But this was just the first class.

Later on in the day, the same question came up. I was busy taking roll as the students' anxiety built as they awaited their assessment. I overhead the following:
"What's the name of the Wind God again?"
"I think it's something like areolas."
I chose to take the high road and stay out of that conversation.

It is clear to me that a few lessons in human anatomy are in order. Mom, Dad, it's time to get to work, since you don't want the hooligan public school teachers leading your children astray.

Afforded Awkward Opportunities

People who have been married for many decades seem to think they have the cure for my disease. The problem is that they have been cured for so long, they don't remember how strangely awkward it is like being in the diseased shoes.I know they mean well, but nothing good can come from a mass blind date. That's right. Hundreds of socially awkward inept twenty-somethings trapped in a cultural hall subject to mass produced supper.
Imagine this: you get "asked out" through text message (and I use the term "asked out" loosely because I put my name on a list and was assigned to man who did the same. Furthermore, the text did not actually contain a question, negating the notion that he actually asked me out. But I will give him some credit. He sent a text, right?). Winner. Now go to a church meeting house and throw in some incredibly loud 80s music to the mix. Oh, but it gets better. Add a dash of over-talkative, non-listening companionship and you have the answer to all my woes.
This will not be an experience repeated.
My favorite part of the entire ordeal: the bribery of free ice cream to any couple who agreed to go on a second date. The priesthood leadership literally walked around afterwards and asked couples if they needed the coupons for the free ice cream (indicating that they would, in fact, be going on a second date). Afforded awkward situations. I love being a twenty-something spinster.

Hyped up on Hypocrisy

The following is a soapbox post about my sometimes considered extremely liberal ideals.

Seriously, don't keep reading if you think it might upset you.

You were warned.

Today was the national "spread the word to end the word" campaign. As I donned my t-shirt of support, I was struck with thoughts of intolerance, ignorance, and disrespect (oh, not my own. Actions I have witnessed). I understand being an advocate for activities you support and morals you stand behind. But there is a difference between being an advocate for conservative ideals and being cruel and, quite frankly, unChristlike.

Allow me to explain a situation that occurred today, which was not unlike an average day in the life of a middle school teacher. A young man was being interviewed about his love for dancing and a video was shown demonstrating his clear aptitude for the skill. As a student was was watching the interview, I overheard a suggestion in a derogatory tone that, of course, he must have a certain sexual orientation because of the things he loves. My response? His sexual orientation does not matter. He is doing what he loves, and he is incredible.

Furthermore, on any given day I can walk through the halls between classes and hear various students call each other retarded and gay in a teasing manner like it's no big deal.

I am in shock and awe. I don't understand. Why can't we raise our children to have respect and love for people if for no other reason than they are human beings just like us. Why is this kind of behavior tolerated? I don't understand how people can call themselves the followers of Christ and do and say things that blatantly hurt their brothers and sisters. (I know, I know. Aren't I being a hypocrite because I am judging others? I will not justify my actions other than to say that if my judgement leads to at least one person thinking twice about the derogatory terms that slip past their lips, and he/she determines to make a change, then I consider my sin a success in that I making the world a better place and bringing one soul closer to Christ). I feel that if we truly understand our relationship with our Heavenly Father-who we are as his children-we would never want to do anything to cause harm to any of His other children. Whether they choose to believe it or not, He loves all of us equally.

I would never suggest that people should be out advocating for things they do not believe in. But I am bold enough to suggest that if these people are true Christians, they would not let such hurtful and slanderous words escape their lips.

That homo you made fun of is someones child, best friend, or Auntie Jane.

When you poke fun at that retard, you insult a beloved child of God.

Don't get me wrong. It's not just sexual orientation or intellectual disabilities that I am an advocate of respect towards. I think all disrespect and intolerance for human life is deplorable. But for reasons beyond my understanding, these kind of disgusting remarks are tolerated in my culture. I hate it.

It is my sincerest plea that people contemplate the things they choose to say, and put themselves in the shoes of the people they choose to be negative about and towards. Respect should be universal.

Tomorrow's post is a trip back to the inspiration for this blog...assigned mass dating.